


I’m Fine Doesn’t Mean I’m Fine

by Tsukki_and_Yamaguchi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abused Hinata Shouyou, Angst, Depressed Hinata Shouyou, F/F, M/M, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:53:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26888425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsukki_and_Yamaguchi/pseuds/Tsukki_and_Yamaguchi
Summary: Hinata says I'm fineBut is he really fine?A Haikyuu abused one shot.Contains:Abusive contentDepressionAnxietySelf HarmSuicidal thoughtsAbandonment
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 148





	I’m Fine Doesn’t Mean I’m Fine

"Hinata! How are you?" Suga asked the ginger one day.

Thoughts went through Hinata's head, to many possible answers that were all true.

"I'm..."

The shattered glass bottles that were once hit against his back, they're shattered and broken like him.

'Broken'

The many things in his house that no longer have any use, the old photos of his happy father, now a shell of who he used to be. There like me, useless.

'Useless'

The empty house, it feels suffocating instead of its old cheerful spirit. His mother left with his younger sister to a new family. Alone with his abusive father.

'Alone'

He says I deserve this, that I made them leave. I feel clueless because I know what he's doing is wrong but he tells me I deserve it.

'Clueless'

I'm confused, why did they leave without me? Was I that bad that they left?

'Confused'

I feel so angry and betrayed by my own mother. She knew he was abusive so why didn't she take me?

'Betrayed'

I'm only human, a small teenage boy. I feel like glass that's cracking every time he hits me. Soon I'll be shattered and a distant lost memory

'Fragile'

I see people smile and I remember when I truly was happy instead of always wanting and needing to cry. Words hurt and leave scars, but so does the piece of glass that litter my back.

'On the verge of tears'

All I feel is numb, sometimes sadness. I used to cut to feel something but it ended up making me feel more numb. I started playing volleyball, using that when I'm numb. I play alot.

'Depressed'

I freak out and have panic attacks a lot now. I can't watch movies with abuse or fighting in it without having a panic attack. It always feels too real, too familiar.

'Anxious'

Most days I just want to die, I get home only to be beaten with glasses bottles, punches, kicks. To get burned with cigarette buds and hot water. He's never touched me sexually, but the way he looks at me, it's only a matter of time before he does.

'About to break down'

I just want to leave the earth, my only family is the Volleyball team and Kenma. They haven't noticed the bruises, the cuts, nothing. I know Suga's suspicious but that's one person out of the whole team. Kenma knows something about my home life is wrong, he's brought it up before. It just never tell him the truth.

'Ready to give up'

'Pathetic' words I hear every day by my father. I really am Pathetic, letting him hit and manipulate me. I guess I do deserve his beatings for being so pathetic...

'Pathetic'

So annoying...

'Annoying'

A burden to everyone I know...

'I'm just a burden'

Distant and not really me...

'Distant'

I'm so lonely. No one understands my pain. They all have loving family or friends that care. I only have one, one who lives miles and miles away. One I see once ever two months...

'Lonely'

Bitter? I guess you can describe me as that. At least that's what my father says I am.

'Bitter'

My heart hurts, no I don't feel my heart anymore. I feel nothing, just numbness. Heartbroken isn't even close to how I feel.

'Heartbroken'

Rejected by my own mother, who would want me now? A boy his own mother didn't want him and his father abuses him daily.

'Rejected'

I feel crushed, broken, shattered, alone.

'Crushed'

My happy fake mask, it feels like it's going to slip any second now. To show my broken, scarred, abused body. The one with tear tracks and red blood shot eyes.

'I feel like I'm going to fall apart at any minute'

The emptiness inside my heart, I don't think it could ever heal.

'Empty'

I feel like that innocent child who got abused by the bad guy and no one seems to notice for more than 5 minutes in a movie. The one that's gone through more trauma than anyone else in the movie but is the least affected.

'Defeated'

Never good enough... for volleyball, for my own parents, for my sister Natsu, for myself.

'Never good enough'

"...Fine"

"How are you really?"

"...do you really want to know?"

"Of course. You're like a son to me."

"I'm not fine. I'm broken. Useless. Alone. Clueless. Betrayed. Fragile. On the verge of tears. Depressed. Anxious. About to break down. Ready to give up. Pathetic. Annoying. Just a burden. Distant. Lonely. Bitter. Heartbroken. Rejected. Crushed. I feel like I'm going to fall apart any minute. Empty. Defeated. Never good enough."

"Hinata, oh Hinata! Who told you these things?"

"..."

"Who Told You These Things!"

"...My father"

"Hinata," Suga said softly pulling the poor boy into a hug. Suga felt his shirt get wet. He rocked the boy back and forth. The poor innocent boy who's father has hurt him, the boy whose life is more depressing than anyone's he knows yet he smiles the brightest.

I'm fine, doesn't mean I'm fine.


End file.
